| DeE 的个人资料Dee's Space照片日志列表 |  工具  帮助 |
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5月30日 "Hope" "Can You" by Duncan McCulloch"Can You" or "Hope" by Duncan McCulloch
Can you take your hands off my eyes
I'd like to see, clear blue sky
These days my minds been foggy inside
Can you make me feel like I'm alive.
Light at the end of my tunnel, is there anything there?
Hope for the futures, live a live without care
Sinkin' in quicksand, to scared to dare
Clean up the wound, suture the tear.
She will be beautiful, in so many ways
I will be happy, day after day
Is this a dream, Hope this comes true
I'd really like to be with you.
Holding on to the rope
Holding on to hope
Holding on to the past
But i'll let it go.
Can you take this off my mind
I'd like to be flyng through the sky
I want you, to stop the crying inside
Can you help me to be more alive.
I"m sure everything will be okay
This mental rain, must end, there will be a sunny day
I'm just going to keep on my way
If this is who I am, I shall not sway. 3月27日 Slave by Duncan McCullochSlave by Duncan McCulloch
Forget about me, I'll forget about you.
Erase the memory, everything you knew.
Cut through the vein, constant blood flow.
That would will scar, but you Reap what you sow.
Whip through the bush, thorns ripping through the skin.
Pain sensations, like being peirced with pins.
Your lifes been going down the drain.
Change who you are, but your still the same.
You'll never fool me with your games and tricks.
Everyday your making your grave bigger, soon you'll fit.
People trying to be different, but your all the same.
and Everyday theres something crazy going on, everyones going insane.
You may be free, but where will you go.
Served the time, far from innocent, stooped nice and low.
You never know in what direction you are headed.
Lost in the maze of life, the curse is embedded.
Your Just a
Slave to the pain that you've got yourself into.
And thats how it will always be.
Take your hands off your eyes
So you can finally see
Remove the gag, I'll let you breath.
Cut you with a knife, allow you to bleed. 3月16日 CatMy cat died.. well my sisters cat... "Cruiser" he wasn't even old, he was only 2 years old....
so I am probally taking him in for an Autopsy. Im guessing a Myocardial Infarction (heart attack) or maybe a stroke.. because as far as I know he did not have any symptoms or illness.. and he seemed fine yesterday before he just died...maybe he had liver failure or something.. ... it just sucks because he was getting nicer, and wasn't rough anymore really... I might be getting a Kitten.. so will have to see...
on a better note... i got 2 scrubs yesterday.. (the outfits doctors, Vets, and healthcare workers wear..)
a Green one, and a Black one.. the school pays for one, but if you want more then 1, you have to buy it yourself.. but anyways.. that was pretty cool...
well im off... i might write in this ol' thing again in a little while..
-Dee- 3月5日 filly outty thing I stole..Marital Status] Single
[Shoe size] 11 i think,.. sometimes 10
[Parents still together] Yea
[Siblings]sister-Jennifer..23 or 24 or something
[Pets] Lots..2dogs 2 cats 2 birds 1 guinea pig 3 Tarantulas..
FAVORITES [Color] Lots.. black is always good
[Number] none..
[Animal] probally dogs..
[Drinks] Beer
[Soda] Any
[Book] A few..
[Flower] Lillys
DO YOU [Color your hair?] did once or twice.. i need to again...
[Twirl your hair?] not usually
[Have tattoos?] Nope..
[Have Piercings?] yep, 2
[Cheat on tests/homework?] lol.. not seriously..
[Drink/Smoke?] yep
[Like roller coasters?] No
[Wish you could live somewhere else?] yea... or be someone else..
[Want more piercings?] kindof
[Like cleaning?] Sometimes
[Write in cursive or print?] Print
[Own a web cam?]yea
[Know how to drive?] Yes
[Own a cell phone?] Yes
[Ever get off the damn computer?] sometimes.. lol.. when im not working,going to school, getting drunk, etc..
HAVE U EVER [Been in a fist fight?] Yes
[Considered a life of crime?] not really so much a life.. but doing crime yea..
[Considered being a hooker?]fuck that.. dont need clemetia
[Lied to someone?] Yes
[Been in love?] Yea..
[Made out with JUST a friend?] Yes
[Been in lust?] not really..lust is for suckers
[Used someone] not really..
[Been used?] lots of times..
[Been cheated on?] dunno.. probally..
[Kicked someone in the nuts?] Yes
[Stolen anything?] lots of times..
[Held a gun] yea quite a few times
CURRENTS [Current clothing] Pj's :) cuz im l337
[Current mood] Shitty
[Current taste] gross mouth
[What you currently smell like] like washed?
[Current hair] shaggy hair
[Current thing I ought to be doing] getting smashed..
[Current cd in stereo] none.. listened to Kiyoshi Nagata a couple times today..
[Last book you read] ummm... Coral Island i think
[Last movie you saw] hmm.. i forget..
[Last thing you ate] dunno
[Last person you talked to on the phone] who knows.,,
[Do drugs?] just some..
[Believe there is life on other planets?] yep
Remember your first love?] yea...
[Still love him/her?] sure..
[Read the newspaper?] no.. news is depressing..
[Have any gay or lesbian friends?] don't think so..
[Believe in miracles?] No.. obviously not..
[Do well in school?] yea now i do...
[Wear hats] not usually..
[Hate yourself?] yea.. sometimes..
[Have an obsession?] not really
[Collect anything?] not really..
[Have a best friend?] no..
[Close friends?] A few
[Like your handwriting?] no.. i write messy.. i can barely even write ... 2月8日 bleh..Theres nothing left for me here..
lying in bed, my eyes begin to tear..
If suicide is the easy way out,
then what is the normal way out?
It would be nice if you ever thought,
thought of anything that has anything,
anything to do with the likes of me..
Your to busy, doing drugs, getting drunk,
and so much more, to forget about me..
I just wanted you as part of my life...
I wish I could just leave this town sometimes..
but, would that make things any better?
My few friends are one of the only things,
that make me happy.. I wish i got drunk more..
sad to say, but its the only thing that helps,
is when im with friends.. or my minds busy..
so im not thinking about how shitty my life is..
hmm.. well... i better go watch tv.. maybe that will cheer me up..
i wish someone was proud of how well im doing in school..
before you would have been.....
see you...all 1月25日 "Lost" - Duncan McCulloch"Lost" by Duncan McCulloch
November 19/05
I am so lost, I've never been so confused
I don't know what to think, do, or feel
and all I think about is you.
Through All of this, I lost more then myself
I lost everything I ever knew
I miss everything, but mostly me and you
I must look to the future,
There lies my salvation.
Although I am forever scarred,
Hopefully I'll always have you
The memories will always be there
Accompanied by the pain,
What value is life, if this is what I gain.
A life of tears, and no one calling out my name
I need someone to hold, or for things to be alright
I've never felt this bad, in my entire life
Love is the greatest feeling in the world,
but it can also hurt like hell
You say you care and that you worry
but where are you now?
Often I sleep to waste more of the day
Hoping as the days go by, that this suffering will go away.
I will not give up, I will do what I was told to do.
Carrying on is so hard, when theres no love from you
Now its time to sleep, to bring forth a new day
Hopefully it is alot better, alot better then today. Face Down - Duncan McCulloch"Face Down" by Duncan McCulloch (written in 2005) Summer Probally..
Do I even exist?
Am I a Spirit Here?
Hearts grasped by a fist
Body full of fear.
Living a Life I hate
I'm always alone
Out of hope and doubting fate
Want my happiness back, want to go home.
I need you in my life some how
This is not how it should be
What to do, how do I feel now?
Things arent alright without Cassandra Lee.
Sinking in the ocean
and to Tired to swim
Hearts Full of devotion
but I'm being drowned, or torn apart from limb by limb.
I was someone with you
and now I'm back to nothing
What I say is the truth and my feelings are always true
Cut me up good, because I want to feel the sting.
Numb From All The Pain
You say you care about me
But seems you just care about you
With heart comes a key
Cannot be fixed by glue.
Broken, Tattered, and Torn
Good days are a few
If only new happiness was born
Always devoted to you.
Left in a trail of change
Face down in the mud
In the aim of a gun, but just out of range
One step forward, and i'm lieing in my blood.
Holding on to thoughts and dreams
Going back to when your words were true
Like the innocent, go through killers schemes
Feeling so empty, I thought you would have knew
Hurts to read things you wrote
Or to think of things you say
Your biting again at my throat
Don't want to feel like this today.
Things should go back to way they were
Back to when things were good
Thinking of when I met her
Remembering like I should. 1月1日 New Year, Any Better?---------------------------------------------------- If anything should happen to me, I'd like you to have my book, with all my poems and songs. Then I would like you to make copies of them, and give them to my parents and family. ---------------------------------------------------- So its 2006, a new year.. i not only want it to be a million times better then 2005 I NEED IT TO BE I hate my life, Its not fair that other people are fuckin' idiots, and they get to be happy, and be in love, and not get their heart stepped on, and a scar formed, which I think im doomed to always feel I made mistakes but my heart is true being human does not mean i should be going through all this I see people changing and fading, losing their true identities and it makes my life worse The world has forsaken, and shakin' the life out of me Well... I hope everyones New Years was good im hungover, my head is pissin me off but the night was good enough Best Wishes For 2006 Please if there is any hope for me, Bring Me Some Happiness and lift this pain and sorrow that is embedded in me 12月4日 Never Meant/When/Even though/Im Still Here I:
Never Meant To Hurt You
Never Meant Upset You
Never Meant To Make You Cry
Never Meant To Make You Stop Loving Me
Never Meant For You to Distance from Me
Never Meant To Lose You
Never Meant For Anyof this
I really can see everything in your eyes
the pain, the sadness, and the confusion
Did you read my other songs
or just the one that was intense
expression through music but its still just music
words are words.. and my feelings are my feelings
when i say I care I care
when i say i hurt, i hurt
when i say i miss you, i miss you
when i say i need you, i need you
when i say i wanna die, i dont know what to do
when i cry, i hurt, really bad inside
when i see you cry, i cry to
even though you hurt me, im still here
even though you treat me this way, im still here
even though im dieing inside from all this, im still here
still have feelings for you, im still here
even though you've change, so have I
even though your different, im still here
i exept your faults and how your different
you mean alot to me, and that will never change
im sorry for anything i did to every hurt you
im sorry if i have emotions, or that i sometimes vent
im sorry for everything i ever did to make things worse
im sorry for any pain ive put you through
I Never Meant When I Said Mean things, Even Though I Hurt, And Im Still Here
Im Stilll Here...
.Y.I.M.H.F.E.
---- This Goes Out To You Cassandra Lee Davis Fawcett ----
without you.. id be nothing
---sorry again--- read my other songs/poems, that was the only intense one i ever did---
9月23日 Nothing In CommonCassie said we have nothing in common a couple days back , is this nothing???
BOTH: like girls music is an imortant part of our life like the same types of music Don't have living grandfathers like cars like going for drives like the country have cellphones with aliant have peircings like meeting new people use msn like our job paid 7$ or under like animals attending or going to attend college parents worked at D.O.T. when they were younger ( Department of Transportation ) have 1 sister work shift work smoke weed drink alcohol can play instruments like to sing when music is playing been to funerals lost family members confused right now care about eachother live in fredericton been through hard times like 4 wheeling , 3 wheeling like the outdoors going for walks had a farm in the family at one point in time lost someone they cared about lots of cd's had seamonkies have cheap dvd players have ideas of what we want in life think friends are important wear skateshoes been hurt many times lost friends care about other people besides just ourselves like art like getting gifts ( clothes even ) got engaged have our own cars fell in love for the first time , at the same time , with eachother made mistakes , or said things we shouldnt have have record players like dying our hair like being different (unique) have connect NB mousepads played in a band are poor have atleast 1 recreational vehicle like the same types of movies
have old dogs suffered from depression been in fights in school stole broke the law alot have some of the same cds wear a watch visited someone in the hospital been to the prom borrowed a dress or tux live away from family. like eating at restuarants or fast food joints have a pipe been to church failed classes in higschool went to small elementaries sing to the radio in the car or stereo in car applyed for college gotten free wallets have dogs theres alot more things .. but i gotta study for my exam.... i just wanted to show everyone that even when someone thinks u and them have nothing in common.. then thats bull.. because in like a half a hour.. i thought of that many things we had in common... 9月16日 whyWhy / My Conscience
By Duncan RB McCulloch Why Do You Bother , Why Do You Even Try
She doesn't care about you , and probally wouldnt care if you died she just uses you , and is trying to lose you Why do you try to go on , when theres no one for you you had your one chance , and you blew it I know you still love her , but she doesnt love you why do you even want to stay alive , when the sky soon won't be blue you sent her roses for her to think , but do you think she even kept them? this world is shit , and full of pain Things probally won't get better , i will never be the same its been three months , why dont you give up , Do you really think things will look up? shes moved on , she doesnt even want you in her life and your still waiting , wanting and needing her in your life. if you were suicidal , you would probally be already dead. what are you even thinking ? , what is going through your head?
she only talks to you , when she wants a drive or money? why do you put up with that , it isnt really funny. why dont you listen , when people tell you to give up well i guess , i might as well shuttup you wont listen to me , or anyone else i guess your doomed , to a life of hell you decided to keep living your broken life and broken dreams when she hugs and kisses you , she doesnt mean what you think go jump in a pool , let yourself sink let yourself go , she's all you think about i give up , your to damaged to be saved well im going to shuttup now , its not sinking in so just stop trying , you can't win you do everything you can for her , and she does not realize that you will always be there for her , often with tears in your eyes. she cuts you up , like a person cuts with razorblades im leaving you now , his voice begins to fade. your falling appart here , no one will come to your aid. go find a quiet grave , surrounded my shade 9月10日 yea...yea... i havent been wrote an entry in like decades.. well cassie ( the ex) is treating me like i dont even exist , and she likes other guys... for like 3 months i felt like shit.. but now i feel alright... if she wants to forget about what we had before and how in love we were and how we could be again.. then whatever.. plus the guys she likes are definitley worse then me , and i know there has to be a girl that would be happy to have me , and would like me for who i am... well im going now... i dont even know why im posting on here.. its not like anyone gives a shit.. o well.. peace.. ps.. cassie u know i still love you.. but i guess that doesnt really matter to you.. 6月22日 older pictures of cassie louyup.. so heres some pictures of cass.. and 1 of me and cass.. these are like a year old.. but meh.. cassie never sends me pics of me and her.. so yea.. these are all i have pretty much on the computer.. 6月21日 hmmmHey Everyone... well.. i cant make a photo album because the damn thing wont let me.. its suppose to say "add photo album' under photo album right? well it doesnt on mine.. and i have removed photoalbum and re added it.. and that still doesnt fix the problem.. oh well.. ill just add pictures to my journal... well.. im going to prom with cassie tomorrow evening its going to be fun ( wednesday 22nd) its exciting tho because i never went to my prom.. so atleast i wont be a total failure now.. lol.. well i was a little worried about me and cassie.. but i think everything might be alright.. i mean.. ive been more then a bf for her the last 2 years.. i have also taking care of her more then her own family has... so i think i deserve her dont u? i treat her very well.. and if u were to ask people at work if i loved her and cared about her they would say very much so.. since i talk about cassie all the time..lol.. also what made me feel better is that shes gonna wear her engagement ring to the party if she goes on friday.. so guys wont try to get with her... im still upset that she liked another guy tho.. but hopefully she doesnt anymore.. because she says she doesnt.. and i believe her.. anyways.. so im doing alright.. went to nessas grad party on saturday night.. that was fun.. i got drunk for the first time.. it was awesome lol... and today i got toby a sleeping bed thing and a stuffed hedgehog he can ripp appart and a cheech and chong movie.. lol... and tomorrow i gotta get ready for prom.. and pick up the corsage and my tux... and cassie will probally come to my work to get money from me for more stuff for her prom stuff... since her dad took her grad money... grrrr.. well im gonna go now.... somebody better read this and stuff.. took alot of work.. geeez.. heres some pixies.. xoxx love u cassie.. through thick and thin... these pics are kind of old.. but i dont really have recent ones of me or meandcass 6月18日 Finally Gave In To Peer PressureWell.. like the name of the journal entry says... ive gave in to peer pressure.. and i finally have created a "my Space" bye everyone |
i must say tho .. it isnt all that its cracked up to be... so i doubt ill update that much... lol... oh well i dont really update my other sites anymore either...
.. well i best be going now... just thought id say hello or whatever... *waves to all my friends and/or the people who actually give to shits about me... well peace out|
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